Archives for “news”
“I don’t know what the guy said, but I saw his sole.” – President Bush, referring to an Iraqi reporter who threw shoes at him.
I love it when the robots who build Google News accidentally do something hilarious. I’ve previously mentioned the Senate passing the Battle Royale act, and I think this is just as funny. Nestled in among other headlines about the Vanessa Hudgens nude photos was “Disney Channel claims ‘best summer ever.’”
The headline on today’s Oregonian: Kulongoski has ‘come alive.’ In my mind, the headline continued: “Zombie Governor terrorizes state capital.”
When I loaded up Google News today, the top headline was about the Senate passing the War-Spending bill. The associated photo, however, was the logo from the Japanese film, Battle Royale, a dystopian story where the Japanese government has passed the “Battle Royale Act.” This law causes the military to take randomly chosen classes of [...]
“And in the news tonight, a stowaway bear is causing trouble for space shuttle astronauts.” – Kent Brockman on the Simpsons
One of the headlines for this mornings Oregonian: BUSH FAINTS AFTER CHOKING ON A PRETZEL Physician says he is fine, except for a few facial injuries from falling off the couch.
I’ve had the news on since 7am yesterday. I only got four hours of sleep the night before last, so after giving blood yesterday, I slept for 10 hours last night and still woke up tired. I can’t find the words, or even the right emotions. Like so many people have said, I feel numb [...]
Man… all the most twisted ideas I can come up with (without being artificial) appear in the paper eventually. Today there was an Edge about some idiot who got hospitalized for a tarantula bite on his penis, incurred while he was “admittedly under the influence of crystal meth.” compare: isometric.sixsided.org/_/like_you_never_thought_of_it And one of the CoDC [...]
